Wednesday's Progress

Today I am exhausted. I barely had sufficient rest b/c I was up late waiting for my son to get off. This week has been busy on top of busy with my position this summer. I just want time to think!! lol

I didn't exercise today. I am tired. I think I overdid my workout with the weights yesterday b/c my arms and legs are hurting. I decided to rest my po' body.

I have learned that you hurt yourself in the long run if you don't allow your body time to recover. So I'm recovering!!!

I stayed within my calorie limit, and I had an excellent piece of salmon with some lovely veggies. The salmon hit the spot for me.

(Me today in my job's restroom.)

Ok, I'm getting off now. My eyes are drooping and I need my rest. Oh btw, I was able to subtract 2 pounds from my chart. Yay me!

Talk soon,

~Cy~

(Ok, I just noticed the toilet paper on the ground in this restroom..LOL Sorry!)

Tuesday's Progress

(Instead of buying a Snicker candy bar for a quick snack...I buy salad stuff...I must have a spoonful of bacon bits on my salad..)

I worked late and I'm tired! I am trying to stay up so I can pick up my son from work and then run in Walmart to pick up gifts for the ladies I worked with this summer. It was a challenging yet awesome work experience. The ladies that I supervised made the experience wonderful for me and the money and perks wasn't half bad. I am so thankful that it's ending this week b/c I'm tired..LOL

Ok, I did pretty doggone good in terms of my fitness goals today. The place that I work this summer caters their lunches. Yes, I have been eating free catered breakfasts, snacks and lunches for 3 weeks now. Oooooooo wheeeee. I did great!! I was very conservative and stayed within my calorie budget. However today, I finally got a piece of carrot cake. Everyone had been raving about how good the cake was and I wanted to try it.

Verdict: It was ok! I wasted 289 calories for a just OK cake. I make a mean carrot cake and this cake had nothing on my carrot cake..lol Oh well..I should've gotten the cup of ice cream. :-)


I still stayed within my limit and I exercised today. I completed 3 miles with interval weight training. All in all...a great day!

~Cy~

Monday's progress.

I will update this evening....

Morning: I completed Day One of my 5k training. (30 minutes)


Warm up 5 minutes
Run 1 minute...fast
Walk 90 seconds
Run 1 minute
Keep going back and forth until Cool down (25 minute mark)

Total of 2 miles

Cool Down for 5 minutes. Oh and you need the cool down.

Total of 283 calories burned according to my heart monitor!

Ok off to shower and work. I am planning to attend Zumba toning tonight. I'll update!


Did Zumba toning and I was so tired and exhausted that I could barely lift my weights.

This week's goals-July 25, 2011

My goals for this week are simple. I plan on exercising everyday and throw in at least 2 twice a day exercise sessions next week. (Some form of cardio every day with strength training) I plan on staying within my caloric range and drinking my water.

As you can see...I am keeping it simple. This Sunday, I woke up and did 2 miles. I might later exercise this evening with my husband.

Have a great week everyone! I will check in hopefully mid week.

Moving forward...

~Cy~

Overcomer!

When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."

~Author Unknown

Oh my goodness. This quote sums up my entire week. I began this past week with so many high hopes and goals. I was ready to set it off!!! I was so pumped. Then MONDAY came and I realized that I had to work on reaching those goals. MY MY MY!!! LOL Honestly, I really accomplished ONE goal that I had this week and that was to stay on the path of remaining within my calorie intake. Thankfully I did it...(by a prayer)

I won't make any excuses why I didn't succeed in accomplishing all my goals. The fact that I'm here another Saturday willing to start again says it all. See, this is a lifestyle change for my ENTIRE family. I'm not trying to quit and throw in the towel just because I neglected to exercise twice everyday or ate that piece of cake (I didn't eat any cake this week :() I am here yet STANDING. I am willing to give it another try and another try and another and another...I'm not quitting. I can't afford to quit. The stakes are too high!!! Indeed, I am an overcomer!!


Today, I spent an awesome afternoon with my cousin who by the way LOOKS amazing. Her tenacity inspired me even more. I believe from the bottom of my heart that iron sharpens iron and that girlie sharpened my iron a little more today. I'm sooo more inspired. I am so grateful for those that are constantly encouraging me like my sissy Trish, but even if I don't have encouragers, I know I have me and I believe in encouraging myself...Oh yes I'm an overcomer.

One thing that is a big obstacle in my life is my attitude about my body. I am going to STOP complaining about my stomach. Yeah, it's big and it's going to take some more work to get it down. I accept the fact that I'm going to have to put more time in to see results.

It hit me today while talking to my cousin that I'm wasting too much time focusing on the negative that I'm neglecting to see the positive that has been happening in my life. Negativity can choke out the positivity if you allow it to take root in your mind! I know I'm losing. I AM feeling GREAT!!!! I have amazing energy and my legs are HOTTTTT!!!! LOL I love the way I'm looking and the sass in my step. I love ME and I love this journey that I'm on. I am an overcomer!!!

Seriously, I thought it was just about losing weight...Well, yes it started with me losing weight physically but I'm also losing alot of dead emotional weight in my life too. I don't quite see myself in the same way. I'm embracing the fact that I once had some doggone stinky thinking about myself. It's so liberating for me to honestly look within myself and say Carolyn, you are indeed truly beautiful. I am an overcomer!!!

Again, this week was tough....but I know I'm tougher. Tomorrow is another day and I will overcome all obstacles in my life. Tomorrow, I will write my week's goal with the attitude that I'm going to do this no matter what. Even if I miss a mark that day....It's not the END as long as I don't give up!! I am definitely a Philipians 4:13 type of lady.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

I am an overcomer!!!

~Cy~

I Don't Want a Deflated Body! Random thoughts on wrinkled skin!

I am told at least 3 times a day by my husband that I worry about stuff that I don't have any reason to worry about. Well, I can't help it. In any situation, I am always thinking about the what ifs and what could bes...Yes, it drives my family up the wall...but hey that's me. Nothing is ever in black or white for me..I'm always thinking about the gray areas.

With that said, today I saw a young lady that I haven't seen in six years. I was very happy to see her but I was more surprise to see a once 400 pounds woman weighing now 150 pounds. It blew me away. She looked great EXCEPT for her breasts.

Now, I wasn't trying to look at her breast but they were JUST there in a tank top. I tried to turn away but her tank top draped very low and I was curious about what I saw. This once bountiful woman in the bosom area had breasts that looked like deflated balloons. When I say deflated...I mean no air lying flat on her chest. There was NO life in them..This went beyond sagging...It alarmed me!!!

This evening, I changed into my workout clothes and noticed I had a little loose skin on my thighs. That got me worrying because I'm not trying to have deflated skin. I don't know why it bothered me so much. I guess I just don't want to go through all this work and end up having so much skin that it defeats the purpose.

I'm just wondering if her breasts look like that...What does the rest of her body looks like?

In my case, although I have some loose skin, I haven't lost that much that I have a lot of skin hanging. I know I'm losing it at a great rate and it's my hope that I'm gaining enough muscles to take the place of the fat. Lord, I pray!!! I know as you age, your skin loosens. That is why I'm faithfully taking my vitamins. I discussed my concerns with my husband and he recommended that I wear panty hose to bed..LOL Yeah right!

Ok, I'm having random thoughts tonight...but seeing her breasts really bothered me today. Was I looking at my future. I sure hope not.

Yeah, I'm tired. I'm getting off. Gosh...:-)

~Cy~

This week's goals -July 18th

My scale moved down a pound!! LOL Yay! I am not picky. I will take any decrease of pounds.
I am looking forward to tomorrow!!!
I love Mondays b/c it's an opportunity for me to reflect on the previous week and refocus on changes that I might need to make for the coming week.

Last week, was a good week...Not my greatest but it was good. My schedule allowed me to attend ONE Zumba classes last week and so I felt the difference in my energy level. However, I did more weight lifting. I stayed within my calories range each day and I exercised everyday but once. I cooked everyday except one day. I got some needed rest and took some extra time loving on my family!

My goals for next week are:

1. Increase my exercise to twice a day. (For this week only to spike up my metabolism). The morning exercise isn't difficult. I am finding my 5/6 A.M. exercise sessions help my brain to get started. It's the evening that wears me out. I can do it!!!

2. Cook EVERYDAY (Monday-Friday) That means that I need to plan ahead to make sure I have all the ingredients beforehand because I will be working LATE everyday. What goes inside my family's bodies is the NUMBER ONE priority right now. What's the point of my diet being healthy and my family's diet poor? What does that say about me?

3. Manage my stress better. I am looking for a great Yoga class to help me with this. In the meantime, I'm writing more...That helps me alot.

4. Spend more quality time with my family.

5. Lastly, just continue on my path!


Some possible barriers this week:

1. My Job!!! I work for a company this summer that caters great homemade FREE meals, desserts and snacks ALL day long. So, it will be tempting for me all day to make good healthy choices. It's hard seeing all types of desserts all day begging for me to choose it. LOL Ugggh...so not looking forward to that. I love the fact that it has good healthy options. I just need to choose the healthy options..:-)

2. My TIME!!! I will be working all day and doing long hours of overtime. So I must plan my meals ahead of time and manage my schedule for exercising.

3. My Energy LEVEL!!! I will be stretched to and fro....I must push myself.

Ok, that's enough about my goals. What are your goals for next week! Drop me a line to let me know.

Until next time,
~ Cy~

(Me in Orlando, Florida in May of this year. I need another vacation!!!!)

Get Off that Tush and CHANGE!

I am learning that I am my biggest enemy. I can shortchange myself with my negative words and thoughts. I have almost allowed my past weight loss efforts to strangle my future hopes and dreams of becoming fitter and healthier.

Change!!!
If we're not careful we will become hostages to what was and we don't push to see what could be. We desire success but we don't go after it. We rather sit, complain and do nothing than doing what it takes to get it done.

A wise person once told me to stop focusing on what I don't have and embrace and cherish what I do have. We spend so much of our lives complaining and whining about our lives...yet we do nothing to change the status quo.

"An aim in life is the only fortune worth the finding; and it is not to be found in foreign lands, but in the heart itself. "

Robert Louis Stevenson

The above quote is a favorite quote of mine because change isn't something that "just happens" and you can't expect your situation to change unless you find it within yourself to change.

I am learning that you have to grab life by the horns and ride that bull...Why are you crying about why your life is the way it is; yet you're not doing what it takes to make the necessary steps to change it? Yes, we all complain but why sit in misery crying and complaining day in and day out..Come on snap out of it..Get off your pretty or handsome romp..and work this thing. It's called life.

"You can't hit a home run unless you step up to the plate. You can't catch fish unless you put your line in the water. You can't reach your goals if you don't try. "

Kathy Seligman

Change won't come unless you DO SOMETHING instead of wasting your time complaining...IF you continue to complain and not actively make things better for yourself, then change will not happen. Your life will remain stale. Some of us want results right now that we forget we must take those first initial tenative baby steps. We want all the benefits in life but we don't want to work for it.

I am actively taking charge of my life and pursuing CHANGE for a better and healthier future. I'm not trying to win a contest to see how fast I can do it but I'm learning how to change with every pound and inch I lose. Right now, the change isn't outwardly noticeable but inside.....Wow! No words.

Let me get off now...I have to go to bed to prepare for the wonderful community service project my sorority is participating in tomorrow.

There is NOTHING like giving back...NOTHING!!! Gosh, I love my DST!

(Yeah, that's what 6:00 in the morning looks like for me...LOL Change isn't easy...:-)

Until next time,
~Cy~

Move it Scale!

So, I got on my scale today and that bad bugga hasn't budged since last week. I'm not going to lie but I started to get frustrated. Then, I remembered I'm not trying to win a race. I don't have a specific time range to be at goal weight. (FYI--I have 52 pounds to go..LOL) and the scale is ONE tool that I use in terms of charting my progress.

Well, I pulled out my tape measure and measured my waist and I have lost 7 inches since the last time I measured. Yay me. I then went to Walmart to check my blood pressure and it's safely in the normal zone. My husband checked my blood sugar and it's at a great normal level. Oh yeah, I'm making sweet progress...I can do 100 situps in less than 20 minutes..I'm ACTIVE!!! My muscles ache from lifting and my energy is GREAT. I am feeling great and I'm helping my family make wiser choices in their eating. I'm steadily making changes and progress.

I still want that scale to move but it's not the end of all if it doesn't. I know I'm being consistent. Heck, I might be gaining muscle which in that case--I'm cool with that because muscles help your body burn more FAT!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Burn baby burn!

Well, let me go...I'm on break from working as a trainer. I was asked to come in today in order to finalize my project for the next two stressful weeks. I decided to take some Myspace photo shots because the restroom mirror was long. ..You know the kind in which you're in the restroom at work. LOL

Until next time,
~Cy~

Baby, I'll drink your bath water!

Yes, yes...I have uttered those words to my husband. I mean I was feeling him and appreciating the love that I lost my mind for a minute and let those words come out of my mouth. I didn't think anything about it until my husband came inside all sweaty and dirty from working outside one day and said, "Are you ready to drink my bath water?" LMBO Don't get it twisted. We don't roll like that. LOL

Ok, let me tell you....the notion of drinking someone's bath water is disgusting yet many of us are taking big soapy--infected gulps of someone else's nasty bath water. Oh, I'm not literally talking about taking a drank..(I sho hope we don't have any bath drinkers in the house) but I'm talking about taking whatever someone dishes out to you just so you can say I got me a boo.. I mean you're willing to take the filth, dirt and waste from a man or a woman just to be with someone..just to be next to a warm body. Do you realize what's in bath water?????

Let's break this down.

Dirt
Grime
Human waste..Yes particles of feces and urine
Discharge
toxins
Just plain nasty stuff
Cold H2O
Free standing soapy water

Yet you want to drink it???

Come on...Just to be with someone, anyone...COME ON! Is it really worth the sip????

Just to be with someone, you are willing to be hit. *dirt* Just to be with someone, you are willing to get STDs from someone.*human waste* Just to be with someone, you are willing to be disgarded by that person and put on standby *discharge*. Just to be with someone, you are willing for them to continue to behave like a child and then you have the audacity to complain when they aren't acting like a grown man or a grown woman. *toxins*

Why should they when they got momma (you) or daddy (you) taking care of them?

Just to be with someone....you are willing to allow some joker to lay all up inside you or you lay all up inside someone just so they can get their release. *just plain nasty stuff*

Ask yourself these questions. What are you getting from this relationship? How is having this no good man or woman laying all up in your house or up in you benefiting you? Why do you continue to suffer abuse by this person?

Oh a person doesn't have to ever lay a hand on you to abuse you. It's called emotional and mental abuse. I'm so tired of women and men being manipulated by someone that refuses to see or appreciates their worth.

Why come we care so much about the welfare of others than our own welfare? If you don't have you, then who do you have? Your mental, emotional, physical and yes spiritual wellbeing is too important for ANYONE to have control over and mistreat. YOU are the face YOU see EACH morning. So, love that face and don't allow anyone to hurt it. I mean that...Protect you at all cost.

Again, you are certainly beautiful...God's finest! Too beautiful to be mistreated and abused. You know God isn't ignorant. He made these emotions and feelings that we have. He is not ignorant to what we feel, need or want. He knows our heart's desire and guess what??? He ONLY wants to give HIS children the best. HE WANTS YOU TO HAVE THE VERY BEST!!!

Believe that. So stop trying to fill a gap in your life by filling it with saw dust. Allow God to give you the finest and please.............

STOP DRINKING THE WATER!!!

~Cy~ 2009

Momma, your back is growing breasts !

Oh my goodness! When my daughter said those words to me after she busted in on me while I was putting on a shirt, I swallowed my Juicy Fruit gum. She looked so dramatic and serious and I knew that she was indeed serious about my "new body parts." I knew at that point I needed to do something about my weight. I didn't want my baby to think that the rite of passage for a woman was to grow breasts on her back too. LOL

I scarred my baby! LMBO!

                             (My baby at Disney World--Mother's Day weekend 2011 Fun!)

 You know there are defining moments in everyone's life and that was mine. How did I allow myself to get this big? A woman who once ran every morning (regardless of the weather) has transition into a couch potato eating OREOs.  Her innocent statement only confirmed what was going on in my head.  I knew what I needed to do---and that was to seriously take charge of my life and change my lifestyle for the good. My blood pressure had been steadily high for a few years and I just haven't felt great. I had two serious illnesses in a span of two years-one landing me in the hospital. I had no energy for anything but work. I had become a shell of the once active Carolyn and I hated that!


In the past, I have attempted to lose weight for many different reasons. I have allowed different variables to motivate me but I learned over time that true motivation lies within.  See, I'm losing weight for myself. I want to feel better and not wake up without any energy caused by the extra pounds.  I don't want my knees to feel like someone cracked them with a nutcracker every night. I hated going to the doctor's office and hear how lousy my blood pressure was..Ugh!  Oh I love my honey but I'm not even losing it for him because I know he'll love me regardless. I know he's at his happiest when I' m happy and the  key to my complete  happiness right now is getting healthier.  How can you truly be happy when you are unhealthy?

I simply want to lose weight for the betterment of Carolyn. I seriously started my journey in February. I am proud of my effort. I give GOD all the glory! My metabolism was so messed up that it took literally 2 months for me to get it back working. There were days that I wanted to say forget this mess because my scale didn't budge. However, I couldn't neglect the fact that I was feeling better. I was sold on this healthier lifestyle when I went to the doctor in April and was told that my blood pressure was now normal. It went down 15 points.

Well, I have lost over 10 percent of my body fat and I'm taking this journey one day at a time.  I'm not concern about losing my weight fast as long as I continue to lose and feel great. I have learned to look at other markers to judge my success...(Inches lost--Energy level--Muscle gain--blood pressure check--). Gosh, I am working out 6 days and going to fitness classes. I have begun a marathon training program. I am so excited of the possibilities.

(Me with my awesome Zumba instructor and  some of her students celebrating our June birthdays)

Next time, I will share some specifics of what I'm doing and my thoughts. I have kept a food journal since February and have at times recorded my thoughts in my journal. I now feel brave enough to share with you my struggles and successes on this blog.  I'm all about helping others. If my crazy ramblings help anyone, then it will be worth it.  I believe I'm on this journey for a reason. Everything in my life (just about) comes so easy for me with this ONE exception. I so struggle in this area.  This test of mine will be a testimony to help others and that's what I intend to do. I'm not the guru but I'm just a woman battling to take control of my life and lose my back breasts...or BB's. LOL

Until next time...

~Cy~

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Do I Matter?

There have been times in my life that I didn't quite feel like I really belong. I mean I always had great family and wonderful friends around, but I didn't quite feel the positive self worth all the time. I struggled with the question, "Am I good enough?" because no matter how much I accomplished in my life, I never felt like it was good enough because in some way..I really didn't deserve it.

I wasn't able to really see GOD's purpose in my life. There were times in which I wondered, "Do I matter? and Did GOD really give me purpose? All throughout high school, college and graduate school, I struggled with those feelings of insecurities. I allowed the words, reactions of folks dictate how I felt about myself. I held others' opinions about myself above my own.

In the gospel song, 'Through it All' by Andre Crouch there is a verse that says, 'I've been a lot of places and I've seen millions of faces but there were times when I felt so all alone.' I can really relate to that song because I can be active and surround myself around many people but there is no loneliness like the loneliness you feel when you're in a place in which you should feel connected but you are disconnected. To be invisible to people is the worse kind of loneliness...

I'm a shy person by nature. I have and will always be that. I am guilty of using my shyness as an excuse to why I have sat on my talents and abilities in the past. The truth of the matter was.... I cared too much about how others will perceive me. I kept quiet throughout my school years because I feared the rejection of others. In a crowded room, I have felt sooo alone.

Now, don't get me twisted. I'm not talking about being visible for the sake of popularity. That was never a need for me-but being visible so that you felt like you mattered to folks. To know when you leave this world, you left a lasting and rich legacy- that your living made a difference in someone's life.
Naw, I wasn't looking for megastar status. I just wanted to be seen in a room filled with people.
To be visible...

Well, I learned that before I can really belong and become visible to others, I must learn how to be content and satisfied in being just Carolyn (flaws and all). I must learn how to love myself more than others could ever love me. It wasn't fair or right to expect someone to complete me or make me feel good about being myself. See, I finally realized...
I matter because I matter to me. I depend on me when I can't depend on others...That's a great thing!
Yes I matter and I have a purpose divinely orchestrated by GOD...

Having the approval of others isn't something I need. The affirmations are nice but they don't make me who I am.  It is what I think and know about myself that matters the most. I think living teaches you that.

Naw, the world still doesn't revolve around me but I know I'm an "Original C"and there will never be another Carolyn like me..... Never ever
I matter.
You matter..

~Cy~